JB COOKS: How To Whip Up a Bitchin’ Chili Crisp

First of all, how the hell has it been over a year since I whipped this ish up with my sis? Talk about one f*cked up time warp of a year. I mean, that was a hard opening digress. SO! Let’s get to the real damn point of this salaciously salivating article—how to whip up a bitchin’ chili crisp!!

My seester, Cait, introduced me to the sexy spicy wonder that is chili crisp and how versatile (and pretty cheap) this one wicked good condiment is. Aside from taking two to three hours to prep (girl, you gotta be IN IT to WIN IT), chili crisp is a great way to up the flavor ante on virtually n-e-thang. 

Noodz, rice, eggs, toast, pizza, tacos, soups, salads, sauces—you name it, you can savor it. With this homemade chili crisp with all its crispy bits. Quite frankly, eat it solo and you’ll reach some level of culinary enlightenment.

True story: you could just buy chili crisp canned, but trust me, you won’t know what you’re missing ’til you’ve made it with your own two handszesss. So, excuse me while I phone my sis to pick up these ingredients at our local Asian market like right now-now, ’cause it’s been way too long. 🙌🏻

A Bitchin’ Chili Crisp Recipe

Yields four to five cups

• 2 cups, shallots, thinly sliced
• 1 cup garlic, thinly sliced
• 3 cups variety chili (such as) 
  • whole red chili or shredded red chili
  • lantern chili
  • kashmiri chili
• 4 tbsp. ground sichuan (aka szechuan) peppercorns
• 2-3 cups soybeans or garbanzo beans, roasted for crunch
• 3-4* cups peanut oil (*add extra cup if heavy-handed with garlic)
• 3 tbsp. mushroom powder or umami
• 2 tbsp. honey or sugar
• ½ cup of ginger, sliced into tiny-thin matchsticks
• ½ cup salt
• 1 tsp. black pepper
• a few star anise
• a few cardamom pods

INSTRUCTIONS

Preheat oven to 425-degrees. Place soybeans or garbanzo beans on a cooking sheet and lather lightly in peanut oil and salt. Cook for a minimum of 20-25 minutes or until a perfectly roasted and with a high-level crunch factor.

Heat a shallow layer of peanut oil, add shallots and garlic and fry until perfectly crispy. Reserve and keep peanut oil hot for later use.

Wearing gloves, removes the seeds from any whole chilis. Add all seeded chilis to a food processor and blend until finely chopped. Skin ginger and cut a single, 2-inch long matchstick for flavoring.

PRO TIP: Use the backside of a spoon to remove skin from ginger. 🥄

Add all ingredients (except for fried garlic and shallots) into a large prep bowl. Using a colander, add and strain hot peanut oil and let it all sizzle. Once cooled, add fried garlic and shallots and let sit 24 hours prior before serving.